Don’t you hate that when you to make a phone call some kind of service company or maybe you are trying to reach your bank… and you no longer get a live person?
I am trying to make a deposit or a make payment on my electric bill because I am already eight days late; or I have to call the bank before I can pay that bill, cuz I have to make sure I have the funds are there to cover the payment. So I make the dreaded call and I get…
The COMPUTER…
You would think that technology would make everything easier? Press One for English and Press Three for Checking Balances. But it’s never THAT simple. In fact half the time my computer doesn’t even recognize my Bluetooth so I find myself yelling into the phone… Mental note number one… use my cell phone.
Damn it... Find me a PERSON, Damn it!! Fuck You, Fuck YOU… THAT’S what department so do NOT transfer me again… mental note number two… cells phones don’t work either.
After I damn near stroke out and I finally get some guy named Will on the line… you know, the Will that sounds more like someone named Somalirashad instead… Will goes on to ask me eighty more questions to confirm my identity. My name, my age, my address and phone number, the last four of my social security number, people in the household, including the dog, my annual income, and last but not least, my password … for extra security. Oh my God are you kidding me? I just want to make a deposit… you know put money INTO the bank’ I am not even making a withdrawal. Who cares if someone sneaks in as me to deposit money into my account? I say let ‘em! I guarantee it’s spent before some identity thief could make the withdrawal on it! What’s even more sad is why in Heaven’s name would they ever pick me? ME! Have they seen my credit report? And I have no identity; no life, no extravagant clothes or jewelry or vacations… just home at night, sitting around watching the boob tube.
How the hell did that get its name, Boob Tube? Does watching TV turn you into a boob?
Digressing again… sorry… and now moving on.
So anywhooo, I am on the phone the other day with the cable company cuz you never have any problems with tech support huh? I just got a new modem for my phone, which is Voice over IP. It took about all of 90 seconds to switch from the old router to the new one; I just basically removed the cords one-by-one so I don’t stick the wrong cord in the wrong hole. I am constantly having that issue in my personal life!
After ten minutes of trying to explain my situation, “I just got a new Router box from my phone company. I had to power down to install everything so that windows could pick up the new code when I turned my computer on. The internet was down and I have no phone.” I had to say it again, saying I think when the software of the new drivers were installed, it knocked my modem offline. After five minutes, I found myself repeating the details over and over again. I finally said to Will, can you please write this down? As he is telling me not to unplug the third box and and to plug in the fourth one… Will, there are not four boxes, there are only two. The modem and the router but for grins and giggles, let’s just call them the Phone box and the Cable box and eliminate the names altogether. After fourteen minutes and twenty-six seconds, he finally informed me that my modem was offline and that he was going to check to see if there was an outage. UGGHH. Ok I know there are plenty of people who could use a job so are we really gonna go here? Nope, no power outage. He said he had to set a charge out to the modem so I shut everything down only to reboot after he sent the charge. As I rebooted everything, the computer and the phone, were all working just fine. Will asks,” are they running correctly?” Yes, Will, they are. Thanks. So he goes on to inform me that the tests show that the modem was reading the old router and needed to have the modem send a new charge out to the modem so everything can work correctly. Really, Will? That’s what I said, remember? From the beginning?
And Will ever-so-politely asks… is there anything else I can do for you today? ARRGGGHHH!!! Have you ever noticed they put the most polite people in those positions, so when you are screaming and cussing them out, it doesn’t even phase them? That is just wrong! It’s playing dirty. Imagine what New Yorkers are going through? Please Hold…Cardiac Arrest on line Three, Will.
But in the end, Will is gonna get his karma paid back because his company is going to call me back for a customer service survey. IN FACT, they will call me and call me and call me, again and again until I get on the phone and give them that interview, for me to finally say that my experience was good until they called me for the EIGHTH time of trying to avoid them… at this point, I simply DO NOT CARE! That was sooo four days ago and you are sooo pissing me off NOW.
Why are we stuck living in this world of technology that is supposed to make our lives easier? But ultimately make simple things like phone calls to our service providers cause so much frustration and stress? Some call us spoiled that we have so much technology available to us but isn’t it technology that also makes us have to add so many security measures because it’s technology making us vulnerable to hackers and thieves! I think that someone in a higher place is looking down on us saying tsk, tsk, thinking we are stupid... It’s like poking us to see if we are still awake.
Can you hear me now?
