SHOWDY... What Happened?

Earlier today, I was looking through FaceBook at one if my new friends that I just accepted. Oh my, this guy was fine... with a capital SHOWDY.

oh wow... I think I just figured out what that means. (For those of you who don’t know… SHOWDY is what a brothah calls a sistah, 'Showdy!')

See, I think they are really saying, 'Shit Howdy'... because Shit Howdy was the first thing that was aiming to come out of my mouth at that moment… I mean, this guy was hot ... Wooo weee, SHawwwteeEEE !

Anyway... I digress.

I am perusing his FaceBook page and...

Did you ever notice that the word perusing was a bit of an oxymoron? The description is to 'scrutinize, look over with detail,' but the overall flow of the word scrutinize is very casual, like you are casually browsing over the page. My parents would scrutinize over my attire, my boss scrutinizes over my timecard. Hmmm, seems to me, there is absolutely nothing casual about scrutinizing.

Sorry… I digress, yet again. Back to Prince Delectable.

I am perusing casually over his FaceBook page and I come across links for several of his sisters. Curious to meet the future members of my family, I clicked on the first one. YIKES. She was hideous. Lawdy, what the hell happened here? It was like taking a drink of a Pepsi and it's really an Iced Tea. Iced Tea!! My brain went into a meltdown as my taste buds go into udder chaos. Did I say udder. hmmm, wonder what part of the unconscious that came from?

I decided to go back to the picture of my guy to see if maybe there was something I was missing, you know, like he was adopted or sumthin. I mean, she didn't look anything like him. So I am thinking that it must have been a fluke. Besides, the other sisters couldn’t be that bad. I go back to the links… a little scared… like I am walking into the barn after all of my cute girlfriends have been brutally murdered... and at the crescendo of the music playing in my head, I clicked on the next link. Well, she wasn’t as bad as the first one, but still a tad scary. A decapitation would have done some good here.

It’s not that I think all people should be pretty in order to be validated or anything like that. I, myself, have an ass the size of my chair so I can’t exactly talk; but it was the comparison. The mere shock of it all. I am looking into marrying into this family and God forbid should I ever think about having children after the trauma I just experienced. After all, I am thinking of the kids.

I stopped there. Lost in what was happening in the moment. Dreams lost, fantasies shattered. How could his genes from the same family be so different? I mean this guy would've been like lickin’ a giant Fudgesicle on a stick. Yummmy.. and there was no fudge lickin’ on any of those other sticks, I tell ya! I guess if you could find the stick.

Just saying is all.


Copyright © Shelli Buhr 2010