He came from a more technical perspective in his definition. But we all know that there is no place for thinking when it comes to love, right? Well is also made me remember how much I enjoyed writing that column... so if anyone has a question you would like me to answer or address, Bring It!
And for now, site back and enjoy this little ditty about Love... specifically, What Is Love?
xoxo Morgana
What
Is Love
John
wrote:
Morgana, you had written "real love is to have absolute concern for others... so anyone we have concern for, we love. It is so simple but we make it so complex with our attachments to the fears saying I don't love, because love is only this... or that... we have a lot of ways of expressing love. It's all good!" I've done plenty of thinking about what "real love" is. I have a few disagreements with your definition. I don't mean to put your opinion down or to say you are wrong. I just see a few things in the above paragraph that concern me.
Morgana, you had written "real love is to have absolute concern for others... so anyone we have concern for, we love. It is so simple but we make it so complex with our attachments to the fears saying I don't love, because love is only this... or that... we have a lot of ways of expressing love. It's all good!" I've done plenty of thinking about what "real love" is. I have a few disagreements with your definition. I don't mean to put your opinion down or to say you are wrong. I just see a few things in the above paragraph that concern me.
I should begin by
telling you that I have a BS degree in chemistry and I'm very analytical in my
thinking. I tend to nitpick at theories and try to see the flaws in them. I
tend to ask for proof and if none is present, I say "well then we aren't
sure, now are we"? I think you know what I mean.
My understanding of
"real love". First, I don't think you can say "absolute
concern". The term implies a level not obtainable. If I have absolute
concern for my wife, I cannot have absolute concern for my children, my dad,
mom, and so on. "Absolute" leaves room for nothing else. For example,
consider the known temperature "absolute zero." I think it's -459
degrees Fahrenheit. This is the temperature in which all atomic motion ceases.
That is, all atoms come to a complete stop. They can't get any colder. So, when
I hear/read "absolute" I think highest, most, the top, pinnacle,
can't go any higher, any more, you see?
Love (toward
another human) is an intense desire to see that person continue throughout
their lifetime to grow spiritually (not necessarily religiously), but to find
spiritual growth and enhancement. It is selfless (not selfish). Love MAY also
be that feeling you get when you are very close to the higher power of the
universe. Love might be God and God might be love. I can't prove it though.
Thanks for putting
up with me. These have been the thoughts I have when I consider the definition
of "love".
Morgana replied:
You spoke of love
in the absolute or what I call a "black and white" terms. I see the
meaning of absolute entirely different; I don't see "absolute" as
final, although it can be one of its definitions. Love is not final by any
means; it is the foundation and part of a continual process. Although there are
many definitions of "absolute," here are the first five according to
www.dictionary.com.
abásoálute
1.Perfect in quality or nature; complete.
2.Not mixed; pure. See Synonyms of pure.
3. a. Not limited by restrictions or exceptions; unconditional: absolute trust. b. Unqualified in extent or degree; total: absolute silence. See Usage Note at infinite. 4.Unconstrained by constitutional or other provisions: an absolute ruler.
5.Not to be doubted or questioned; positive: absolute proof. Absolute Philosophy. a. Something regarded as the ultimate basis of all thought and being. b. Something regarded as independent of and unrelated to anything else.
2.Not mixed; pure. See Synonyms of pure.
3. a. Not limited by restrictions or exceptions; unconditional: absolute trust. b. Unqualified in extent or degree; total: absolute silence. See Usage Note at infinite. 4.Unconstrained by constitutional or other provisions: an absolute ruler.
5.Not to be doubted or questioned; positive: absolute proof. Absolute Philosophy. a. Something regarded as the ultimate basis of all thought and being. b. Something regarded as independent of and unrelated to anything else.
Do you have more
than one child? If so, do you not have absolute, complete love for each of them?
You mentioned your parents; don't you feel love for each of them? Let's look at
this from another perspective, Are you creative AND intellectual; or only
creative or intellectual? Can you be both and still able to continue to grow in
each aspect?
Love and
relationships teach us lessons towards self-actualization and growth; you may
finish one phase, like graduating from high school; you go on to college,
graduate from college but you can still get your masters, doctorate, even two,
or as many as possible. Love is an education; there is never a limit on what we
can learn. There is a infinite depth of understanding we can obtain with the
lessons of the heart.
I asked my 17
year-old daughter, "What is love?" Her answer was, "Feelings,
very strong feelings. They make me feel good and bad. Love is pain, like Ja
Rule says in a song." So I asked, how is love painful? She answered,
"Because the pain comes when the heart hurts." So I ask, "When
does the heart hurt?" She said, "It depends. I love someone but I cannot
be with him." So, Des... the heart hurts because you love, or because you
cannot express, give, and receive the love you feel?
Everything we do is
based on two things: love and what isn't. The essence of love is sharing, to be
received, as well as given. The opposite of love is not hate, it is apathy...
the lack of feeling at all or feelings denied. Denial does not mean it isn't
real, only we choose not to acknowledge something's presence in our life.
Love is much more
than a concept. Love is a verb, an energy, just like money, we earn it and
spend it; its power moves through us, affecting decisions, stirring emotions,
changing our reality. Love is not elation itself, but can offer a sense of
exhilaration. You cannot hold it, see it, although we can see and hold someone
or something; this is where the attachment to love gets defined as a noun. We
may "like" ice cream, but the ice cream is not the "like"
only the meaning the ice cream holds in our beliefs.
Individually, we
possess feelings just as we own the choice to love. Unrequited love is a
perfect example; the other person may not know of the feelings, or may not feel
the same way; however, what is felt is very real indeed. In this case, love is
not given, nor is it received; simply love is....
I enjoyed reading
your ideal of love. Often, love gets misunderstand if there is a greater threat
or fear of loss; many can feel threatened if a partner goes through changes or
growth, fearing the partner will leave. In this co-dependent relationship, love
defined as an object, rather than the expression of feelings. The ownership of
feeling is transferred to another person, making us dependent on that person as
the source.
When someone feels
anger or jealousy, there is love present, and a fear of loss that is stronger,
which is why we see possessiveness in relationships; when the fear of losing
someone is stronger than self-love, love is tied in as an object, often using
control as a means to keep the love there.
As far as my
credentials, I have degrees in Psychology, Reiki, and Metaphysics. What has
taught me the most is been my continuous education in life school. I have
learned more through my relationships and the many lessons offered by my
children, family, partnerships, and friends. I have undoubtedly learned the
most through my mistakes! Where else in life can getting an "F" teach
us so much?
Maybe through the
process of learning what love isn't, that is where we find the true definition
of what love is?
