What is Love? The Intimate View

A long time ago, I wrote a column called Up Close and Personal: the Intimate View. Someone recently asked me to answer the question, What is Love?

He came from a more technical perspective in his definition. But we all know that there is no place for thinking when it comes to love, right? Well is also made me remember how much I enjoyed writing that column... so if anyone has a question you would like me to answer or address, Bring It!

And for now, site back and enjoy this little ditty about Love... specifically, What Is Love?

xoxo Morgana

What Is Love

John wrote:
Morgana, you had written "real love is to have absolute concern for others... so anyone we have concern for, we love. It is so simple but we make it so complex with our attachments to the fears saying I don't love, because love is only this... or that... we have a lot of ways of expressing love. It's all good!" I've done plenty of thinking about what "real love" is. I have a few disagreements with your definition. I don't mean to put your opinion down or to say you are wrong. I just see a few things in the above paragraph that concern me.

I should begin by telling you that I have a BS degree in chemistry and I'm very analytical in my thinking. I tend to nitpick at theories and try to see the flaws in them. I tend to ask for proof and if none is present, I say "well then we aren't sure, now are we"? I think you know what I mean.

My understanding of "real love". First, I don't think you can say "absolute concern". The term implies a level not obtainable. If I have absolute concern for my wife, I cannot have absolute concern for my children, my dad, mom, and so on. "Absolute" leaves room for nothing else. For example, consider the known temperature "absolute zero." I think it's -459 degrees Fahrenheit. This is the temperature in which all atomic motion ceases. That is, all atoms come to a complete stop. They can't get any colder. So, when I hear/read "absolute" I think highest, most, the top, pinnacle, can't go any higher, any more, you see?

Love (toward another human) is an intense desire to see that person continue throughout their lifetime to grow spiritually (not necessarily religiously), but to find spiritual growth and enhancement. It is selfless (not selfish). Love MAY also be that feeling you get when you are very close to the higher power of the universe. Love might be God and God might be love. I can't prove it though.

Thanks for putting up with me. These have been the thoughts I have when I consider the definition of "love".

Morgana replied:

You spoke of love in the absolute or what I call a "black and white" terms. I see the meaning of absolute entirely different; I don't see "absolute" as final, although it can be one of its definitions. Love is not final by any means; it is the foundation and part of a continual process. Although there are many definitions of "absolute," here are the first five according to www.dictionary.com.

abásoálute 1.Perfect in quality or nature; complete.
2.Not mixed; pure. See Synonyms of pure.
3. a. Not limited by restrictions or exceptions; unconditional: absolute trust. b. Unqualified in extent or degree; total: absolute silence. See Usage Note at infinite. 4.Unconstrained by constitutional or other provisions: an absolute ruler.
5.Not to be doubted or questioned; positive: absolute proof. Absolute Philosophy. a. Something regarded as the ultimate basis of all thought and being. b. Something regarded as independent of and unrelated to anything else.

Do you have more than one child? If so, do you not have absolute, complete love for each of them? You mentioned your parents; don't you feel love for each of them? Let's look at this from another perspective, Are you creative AND intellectual; or only creative or intellectual? Can you be both and still able to continue to grow in each aspect?

Love and relationships teach us lessons towards self-actualization and growth; you may finish one phase, like graduating from high school; you go on to college, graduate from college but you can still get your masters, doctorate, even two, or as many as possible. Love is an education; there is never a limit on what we can learn. There is a infinite depth of understanding we can obtain with the lessons of the heart.

I asked my 17 year-old daughter, "What is love?" Her answer was, "Feelings, very strong feelings. They make me feel good and bad. Love is pain, like Ja Rule says in a song." So I asked, how is love painful? She answered, "Because the pain comes when the heart hurts." So I ask, "When does the heart hurt?" She said, "It depends. I love someone but I cannot be with him." So, Des... the heart hurts because you love, or because you cannot express, give, and receive the love you feel?

Everything we do is based on two things: love and what isn't. The essence of love is sharing, to be received, as well as given. The opposite of love is not hate, it is apathy... the lack of feeling at all or feelings denied. Denial does not mean it isn't real, only we choose not to acknowledge something's presence in our life.

Love is much more than a concept. Love is a verb, an energy, just like money, we earn it and spend it; its power moves through us, affecting decisions, stirring emotions, changing our reality. Love is not elation itself, but can offer a sense of exhilaration. You cannot hold it, see it, although we can see and hold someone or something; this is where the attachment to love gets defined as a noun. We may "like" ice cream, but the ice cream is not the "like" only the meaning the ice cream holds in our beliefs.

Individually, we possess feelings just as we own the choice to love. Unrequited love is a perfect example; the other person may not know of the feelings, or may not feel the same way; however, what is felt is very real indeed. In this case, love is not given, nor is it received; simply love is....

I enjoyed reading your ideal of love. Often, love gets misunderstand if there is a greater threat or fear of loss; many can feel threatened if a partner goes through changes or growth, fearing the partner will leave. In this co-dependent relationship, love defined as an object, rather than the expression of feelings. The ownership of feeling is transferred to another person, making us dependent on that person as the source.

When someone feels anger or jealousy, there is love present, and a fear of loss that is stronger, which is why we see possessiveness in relationships; when the fear of losing someone is stronger than self-love, love is tied in as an object, often using control as a means to keep the love there.

As far as my credentials, I have degrees in Psychology, Reiki, and Metaphysics. What has taught me the most is been my continuous education in life school. I have learned more through my relationships and the many lessons offered by my children, family, partnerships, and friends. I have undoubtedly learned the most through my mistakes! Where else in life can getting an "F" teach us so much?

Maybe through the process of learning what love isn't, that is where we find the true definition of what love is?

 

The View through Gold Colored Lens'

The Republicans are feeling Shellshocked because Mitt Romney lost as the Republican Candidate in the 2012 Presidential Election? WOW... Did you actually think you were going to win? Seriously?

You all don't get it. It’s not what you did, or didn’t do for that matter.  The fact that Romney didn't prepare anything other than his Victory speech spoke volumes, altho it more like arrogance to me.

You certainly had no intention of creating a major storm which gave the American people a chance to think... Hmmm, how would the responses have differed between the two separate candidates...?  I mean that’s an easy one seeing as Republicans aren’t all that generous with funds over mushy stuff, like the environment. It’s in his Fiscal Plan, Romney wants to cut FEMA. He seems detached and aloof. He won’t answer questions, even to Fox News so how do I come up with any conclusion on who Romney is, and what he plans for the America People. Notice I didn’t just say the power hungry corporate fat cats, I said, the whole body of the American People…   I could see Romney do a drive by from Air Force One, like Bush did over Katrina... 

I mean, he isn't the warmest of the bunch and we know it’s all about cutting programs, except of course, defense... seeing as we are pissing people off so we gotta beef that puppy up.  

Peeps… here is the secret. As I stated earlier, it isn’t about what he did or didn’t do. It’s about who he is. After the 2008 Election, the Republicans had this same line of questioning last time when you thought for sure you had the dream team of McCain and the Pig in Lipstick herself, Sarah Palin.  When you fell hard… all the old, white-bred fingers were out there gawkin’ and a pointin’ Then they blamed Palin, and then McCain’s age, and Bush even... of course for leaving things in such a mess. Now, Romney, Quadrillionaire Business Mogul and his Tea Bagger fella, Paul (who should be tried for Treason over his 1/20/2009 Senate antics to stale-mate all of Obama’s measures) Ryan… everyone hoped that this dream team was it. All day I watched ol’ slick Romney’s confidence show off his $50k in dental work… all the way to his utter disappointment?  

Have you noticed that the Republican Party has a hard time finding candidates? At least candidates without… baggage?  Just when they think they have the perfect mixture of puppet and poster boy, BLAMMO, some hooker comes out of the woodwork carrying her 1/2 Asian plus 1/4 Creole love child, with the rest as Native American!  

You picked this dynamic duo of Mogul Quadrillionaire, I mean, Mitt,(because not only does he know business but he is one of us.. he ‘get us) and Paul (hoping to re-unite the Republican party from the split-off ends of the Baggers!) which has now brought the Republican Party at 2 and 0, Democrats, and for added measure, the American people took back the Senate, since obviously a bunch of grown man just couldn’t do the job right.  

Then again, they say that the anti-Christ will rise and bring the world back together… which means it definitely ain’t Obama but whose to say that the Anti-Christ is gonna be a man… After all, Anti Man is in fact, the women. We all know when you want a job to be done right, you need to send in the menstruating women. Then all will be right in the world.  

Oh and Republicans? It’s not what. It’s who. You need to find a Republican with character. Someone that the people can look up to, and trust. Good Luck with that! It might just be a cool day in hell before the devil himself will let a Republican back into office.  And every time you got your loss handed to you on a plate simply called Arrogance. You are a dying breed Mr. Elephant.

Maybe it’s the time to create a third party. Heck, name it after some militia and call it a day. The United States of the Greedy White Man.

Then at least you people will know where you stand... In the Loser’s box.  

I am just grateful that enough Americans were able to see Romney for who he is... A greedy white man. I prayed that  people were able to open their eyes to see these (fake) people (of the 53% who matter) for who they are... not just the (white) Christian, compassionate Senators who are holding your vote to preserve a fetus's right to life or to ensure that those horrible gays don't desecrate the very sanctity of marriage... (outside of their own love-less swimming in adultery and gay lovers) because Plain and Simple, A vote for the Republican Party is a Vote for Greed. That's it. The rest is the pretty colored ribbons and bows that they wrap up all their bullshit in.  

Now that the election is over and all of the hoopla is winding down, politics now will stand up and brush their clothes off after the many cat-fights; they can to lick their wounds, as they prepare to steer us from the avalanche we face since Congress FAILED to have done it's job for the past four years as they attempted to manipulate 53% of the American people (that do matter, outside of the Minorities, the baby boomers, and tea totters) to shout the loudest...to stand up in outrage declaring that we would no longer be the ones to stand up for Change in 2012... but on the perception that the American people would be able to see Obama for who he was truly was, not the sway of Hope that people voted for in 2008. This coming from the most greedy of them all... Old White Bred Millionaires who could live on the interest alone while the rest of us remain jobless and homeless.

And clearly, the American people would be begging the Republicans to regain control of things after their plan to stale-mate Congress on any matter penned by our esteemed President, to show that Obama was unable to 'work across the aisle."  We can't possibly think that the business of the American people was served better by Obama as Paul Ryan and his Republican cronies worked to ensure a stalemated Congress and their President, who was surely doomed to be one of those one-term Presidents exiting the Oval Office like a college sorority girl walking with her heels in her hands in last night clothes after a night of booze and boys... Those men who thought that this President would be leaving the White House in His own walk of shame...

Apparently God had his own plan after hearing the many prayers of people being duped by these greedy white bred men left in place to nurture and care for the people in this great nation. He decided that we needed to hold a glimmer of Hope as we move chose to move Forward as opposed to going backwards. 

And now we hear the murmurs of men who cry, what has happened to our Great Nation. The answer is very simple. God happened. He said there will be a great statue located in the harbor that opened her arms to thousands of people a month, with the blessing that said, "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses, yearning to breath free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, Send these, the homeless, tempest tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door."

This lady gave these White Bred men the same courtesy when she opened her arms to those, and she continues to do the same. And the Bible also says that it is our responsibility to care and nurture the men, women, children, those os same and different skin color, and those of same and different beliefs, even those who have same partners to wed. Would you still fight for the right of that fetus to have life if you knew that he would be gay? Or Hispanic? Or a black man who one day would be President... against all odds and trickery done by others who claim to act in God's glory yet the only glory we see gleaming is that of their own success as they control taxation and laws to benefit them.

See I took this testament to mean that anyone who wishes to have a chance of the American dream, should have one... Not have one given to them my unscrupulous bankers whose attempt is to gain more wealth as they steal the very house from underneath you, after laying you off the workers who helped to build this company from the ground up. Don't misinterpret this action to be anything other than selfish, something necessary to serve the company, and corporate greed.

Thanks to those who stood up for themselves, not just to those who weren't good enough... the 53% who absolutely DID matter because we all do. God opened his arms so that we can all prosper, to live in freedom, and to once again, find Hope, and without hope, there is no faith.

"To have great faith is to have great power because of your intent, your will is undivided when your word isn't dissipated by doubt. The power of your word becomes even stronger."  ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

I believe that God truly did Bless America this pass Tuesday. I know there are a lot of people who don't agree and even those who feel that the that we have lost the country. These are the same people who thought all they needed was to reach the 53%... because the rest didn't matter.

There delusion was a costly mistake! It was those who didn't matter to them, that brought this Presidency home. I guess they have a right to be shell-shocked. It's like the baby kitten who has opened his eyes for the first time. But just because they can see, doesn't mean they are going to get it this time. Or the next... but at least it wasn't at MY expense!

Morgana Reeves is a Writer, Blogger and Author of Opinion8d1. She is a simple person trying to find my way in life. Sometimes I get lost... really lost, which is how this blog came about. I figured that the only way to find myself was to write about me... who I am, and what I believe in. My opinions... which makes it so easy. There are so many things in life that happen to make you scratch your head, or just shake your head in disbelief.. begging the question, "what were they thinking?!" It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it!