Dating the Playas’ is so hard to resist. It’s like that chocolate cake that is deliciously hard-to-resist but full of fat and calories.. so why do we eat it? Well, I’ll tell ya. It tastes damn good that’s why. Mmm mmm, yummy yummy, all the way down to the last drip, drip, drop. But like any piece of cake, you have to know when enough is enough. I mean come on.
Then there are the relationships that we have been in faaaar too long with that guy we know isn’t going to commit… or change. This is the guy who you have been dating going on four years and you are practically living with… practically. And then there is the guy who leaves his shit all over the place… I mean the guy who leaves HIS SHIT any where he can; and then there is the guy when you come home and only to find him surfing the net on a porn site trying to buy Bambi a new set of boobs. (again raising hand!)
The problem isn’t so much the men here.. it’s us ladies. Now before you start booing and hissing, and throwing your stuff at the computer monitor and sending me HATE mail, just hear me out.
Woman can be the most low-down dirty of ‘em all and I’m saying this as a women. We are just as guilty of doing everything we accuse the men of, and then some. Women are fierce; and men … well, they often land a little more on the dense side.
For the most part, men are pretty simple… they are the breeders. It’s deeply ingrained in them, which is why it’s every man’s ideal to have that little chip off the ol’ block that they kindly refer to as “Junior.” It goes all the way back to the stone ages where they knocked us out and dragged us back to their caves. Once satisfied, they’d settle down, becoming the head of their brood.
You rarely ever see men single or alone. They pretty much like our companionship… and definitely like the gold nestled between them there hills. They are kinda like little puppies that just follow us around because they can’t shake the smell of that biscuit. But women… women have an agenda. They play to win. Women are the biggest Playas’ of ‘em all.
Do you know that the biggest addiction that we face today isn’t drugs or alcohol? It’s control. And it all started out with a little thing called, Women’s Lib and that first chick who burned her bra. So if you are pissed off at your man, blame that bitch! It’s her fault. The truth is she prolly was flat-chested and she needed the attention!
I think women's lib has totally messed up the role of men in our lives. Prior to that, men were all about taking care of business and even quite gentlemanly. But at some point because of some bad apples, someone got it in her head that we needed to be the ones in control, not the men. (and many, many still are) So these new Playas’ took over the control and power from all the men out their need to be independent.
I looked up independence in the dictionary, check it out… Independence is an adjective that somehow with Women’s Lib became more like a noun. The dictionary says that Independence is “not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; thinking or acting for oneself” So how exactly are men supposed to fit into relationships anyway… ?
But after so much time of this independence crap, the men, dumb as they are, were walking around in circles saying… Which way did they go.. which way did they go? They got lost, not even sure where the hell they fit in anymore; tired and hungry they said, ‘screw it and gave up.’ Giving up is easy; it’s human nature to take the easy road. Let’s face it, we’re ALL guilty of taking the path of least resistance instead of taking the path of hard work that lead’s to our growth. That’s why God made prostitutes… and the Lotto.
Part of the issue is that we raise our men not to be emotional. We say, ‘boy, don’t cry, tough it up, be a man.’ Twenty years later when they did grow up, they don’t know how to deal with their emotions and then we come back at them whining.. ‘you aren't being sensitive to my needs.’ Hello… how can they? They don’t know how because we never taught them to deal with anything on an emotional level when we took a little package we lovingly call, NADS.
This is not to say that men should catch a free ride. But it's gone on for so long now, and to the extreme that they are essentially now like little boys and have become quite lazy. Not all. But a lot of them. Gosh, it does gives a whole new meaning to the word Cougar these days doesn’t it?
Then there is another really big issue that goes back to the Playas’ of independence… women. When a woman finally does give up and say to her man… enough is enough, and tells him to step up and kicks him to the curb; and then some other Playa comes along and says, ‘hey baby I will take you because I don’t need, nor have, the self-esteem enough to turn you away.’ Oh and ladies… stop believing that you are the exception to the rule or that you can change them. Can anyone change you?
So ladies, if you want men to be men, then get out of the driver’s seat and let them BE your man. They genuinely WANT to be providers; they LOVE taking care of us, and will go that extra mile because it is within their DNA to do so. It really gets them off to literally get us off… seriously. And if you don’t believe me, just ask ‘em. Even if they say no, watch the smile plastered on their faces as they are thinking of the biscuit…
So peeps, if you want to see change in your relationships then you have to change. Stop playing the games, otherwise, you’re gonna see pattern after pattern of the same ol’ thing… and then nothing changes, just another game of the Playas’….
Here is a little advice my mama always told me… a vision, without execution, is merely a hallucination.
ok I am ducking out of here. (literally)
peace
Copyright © Shelli Buhr 2010
