What the Hell is a Normal Post?

The other day, I was reading some random blog note about "driving traffic to your blog."

Of course, out of interest I read it. I have a blog. I like writing. It's rather therapeutic and having stalkers is just adding frosting to the cake. Oh and Thanks stalkers.

So this article said that if you want to keep people reading your blog that you have to write a KILLER article every week or two. And while you are waiting for that KILLER article to come, you just write a normal post.

This got me thinking. (ok hold the phone. For those of you new stalkers, "thinking" is a word that is sort of like a red flag... Here is your chance to run... or go down the ever-winding staircase into the depths of my brain.) 

I don't think I could write a "normal" post if I wanted to. I am not sure if I even know what a normal post is. Is that something that maybe Jane Cleaver would write? Or maybe something by some spiritual guru?. Or maybe a post like Perez Hilton's?

I read all kinds of things on the internet. Some I would consider quite normal (ahem, boring) and some things might actually grab my attention, like other sarcasm or even better, a hot, sexy story about some bad boys. Yum. Bad boys grabbing me, passionately throwing me down on to the table, making love to me, right then and there. ooohh yea. That could work. Comedy and sex. THAT to me is normal

Or should I be writing a post about planting a garden and clipping coupons. Again boring. What about being cast in a major-market blockbuster movie alongside Angelina... even though we don't like her... Angelina, that is.. Maybe WE can steal Brad back for Jen and restore hope for all of us little people.


Besides someone has to save that freaky-family from having any more kids. And by having, I also mean obtaining any. She is just as bad as the Octo-mom. Why is it Angelina get a pass? But we deep-fry the balls of Jesse James and Tiger Woods. (altho that is probably the karma of their moms because of the names that she gave them.)


Or maybe I should write a post on car repairs or the latest electronic MUST-HAVE.

PU-lease.... people. Are we that bored with our lives that we have to turn to our electronics for pleasure... ? Ok rephrase to sometimes.



Well folks, I am sorry. I guess I am not normal because I can't think of a normal post to write. It seems I have writer's block on normal. Or I am celibate. Sadly, I can't answer yes to either one.

Forgive me?

Creating My Own (Good?) Karma

Karma...

It's a bitch.

Ahem... already digressing and I have not even started to write yet.

Karma has many definitions. I guess it all comes down to what you believe about it to make an opinion I guess. Some don't believe in karma at all; that wooo-hoooey witchey crackpot thing and all. But let me tell you, I think there is more to the story.

And in my Vicodin-daze, I went on a mission to solve the puzzle.  I looked in a dictionary. Online of course. Wouldn't want to break a nail picking up a book. Or dusting it off.

Here is the definition of Karma, from Dictionary.com

Karma : Noun  (CAR ma)

1. Seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation.

2. Theosophy . the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation.

3. fate; destiny. 

Well the first couple were rather interesting. Over the holidays, I have been dealing with a lot of shit. Bad things happening all at once; things that are not even related. Maybe it’s just possible that it isn’t my fault. Maybe in a past life I really spent too much money and escaped from debtors prison or I had some steamy affair or five wives. Maybe I shot and killed the President. Oh wait… that is a recurring dream I have had over the past eight years! So I messed up in another life… why punish me now? I've been a good girl! well… sorta.

Well perhaps all this karma came when I was younger and really a bad girl... the Gods decided to save up all of my shit and wait until things were finally going my way and BLAMMO. Smacked me silly. But that seems rather stupid if you ask me. If I earned the karma from being an ass, then we should see a whole new government, or my boss would have gone through a come-to-Jesus moment by now. But it doesn't seem to work like that. It seems like bad things happen to good people way more than the other thing around.


Then Number #3, we get to the Fate/Destiny thing, Are things just meant to happen? Good or bad, no matter who we are as people? Shit just happens and life depends on if you are wearing a diaper. Hmmm maybe that’s why they call them Depends?

I found it interesting was that Karma was a noun; but then it’s described more as an action, meaning a verb. So which is it? You get karma by doing something. So I guess it's a lot like a bank account then, right? I do good, good and goes into the bank account...  do bad and a little of the good goes out ?

Isn’t there supposed to be some kind of balancing system? I do good most of the time. But I am a redhead so we can’t expect perfection. How come we can't store good karma? Aren’t we are supposed to be building up good karma and have it sit in the back account like nuts? You know, like squirrels. But recently I had an experience that makes me think otherwise.

A few months ago, I wrote a story on Handicapped parking. Handicap or Handy Park. Me being the bitch that I am, I proceeded to slam some guy for parking in the handicapped parking space when he clearly was not handicapped. I still stand on the view that the guy was an ass but I went into a ten paragraph posting about the topic on a whole.

Then the week before Christmas, I fell down and cracked my ankle.

Two days later, after a week of solid rain here in SoCo, I have had ant invasions to the point if I wondered if the paint on my walls was really dark brown and not beige.

A week later, it's still raining and allergies are running amok along with the ants here in Southern California.. where it never rains. That's some idiot who must have been on drugs writing that song.

So was my karma for bashing that life time that was so bad that it took all of the good karma away? Leaving me broke and penniless? Or was it from my nastiness in this life from bashing that guy?

Well at least one good thing that came out of this... I have five months of handicapped parking. I got my temporary permit in the mail today.

Karma... yep, she's a bitch.